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Monday, October 29, 2012

Another Great Week


This past weekend was awesome.  The cold weather and wind cut off Eddie's plans of taking me golfing, but the weather sure didn't affect the softball tournament that took place at the city park.  Eddie played, I didn't.  I haven't played in about three years, but hopefully next year, my butt will be back out on the field.  I truly do miss playing. 

Other than that, on Friday we attended an anniversary-thing for my grandparents who marked 50 years of being with one another.  Congrats to them!!!!

On Sunday, God blessed me with a wonderful church sermon preached by a special preacher.  I think I may have found my new church home.  Finding a home-church has been something that I have been praying about, and I think my prayers have been answered.  It's amazing how God always answers prayers.  Every single time, on His timetable, prayers get answered. 

Lastly, one of my favorite parts of the weekend was watching my son play in the leaves.  Him and his multitude of second-cousins would cover each other up with a pile of leaves and then jump out of them.  They remind me of myself and my first-cousins when we were little. 

All in all, last week was great.  Thank you God!!!!

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Halloween Imagination


My son is very smart and creative.  I am so blessed to have him in my life.  He makes me smile during the roughest of times, and more importantly, he points out the smallest of things to me. 

I love you Lucas, with all of my heart.  You will always be mommy's baby boy.  Thanks for pointing out the milk-pumpkin on the kitchen table tonight when you were having your snack. 

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

I Hate Havin' Cravings


I hate it when I have cravings for bad, old habits.  There is no way in this world that I want or desire to go back to the way that I used to live, but some days, like today, my twisted mind tries to persuade me into thinking that my former way of living was not all that bad.  Trust me, it was. 

It was like being locked up in a prison of one's own mind.  Every move that I made somehow revolved around me getting what I wanted which tended to be something not-so-good-for-me.  By the the time I realized I was running down a road leading straight to hell, the ability to break free from my patterns of destruction was almost impossible, however, through God's grace, I quickly learned anything is possible.

There were so many days in my past that I would cry out wanting to change my ways, but my habits and addictions had a tight grip on me.  I am so happy that I was able to break free from such a self-inflicted, painful past. 

Anyways, today has been one of those days when the cravings hit me hard.  I thought I would write about it so that all of you out there who struggle with recovering from old habits and addictions can find hope in the fact that it is possible to stay clean.  I'm doing it.  And I was about as far gone as they come.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Bringing Good Out of Bad


Today was one of those days.  I woke up nervous, anxious, and a tad bit excited.  I had to make a court appearance, which by the way went well I think.  I don't have to go back for a couple months, so at least God is blessing me with the ability to spend Christmas with my family. 

God truly is showing me the meaning of Romans 8:28 and proving to me just how graciously He can bring good out of bad situations within my life.  I am so thankful that some of the crazy mistakes I made towards the beginning of this year are now turning into things in which I am being shown how blessed I am within this life. 

The only stressful part of today was when some moments from my past tried to creep their way back into my present life, however, through the strength that my God has given me, the ability to bite my tongue and clear my past memories from my mind were easily accomplished.  Some things in life, as well as people, never change...nor do they have the desire to.  I can only pray that they discover what life is all about. 

I hope your day was as good as mine, and I hope tomorrow is even better.  I'm looking forward to this weekend.  I might go golfing for a bit; that should be interesting because I haven't picked up a club in what seems like ages.  If you are thinking about going to the movies, consider seeing Here Comes the Boom.  I saw it this past weekend, and it was a great movie. 

Hope you have a great week, and remember, life is what you make of it.  If you want it to be good, hand it over to God above, and I promise, He will make it better than you ever thought possible. 

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Dealing with Worry


When I think about the future, I often become overwhelmed with anxiety and fear.  I constantly have to remind myself that no matter how the future pans out, God is going to be there with me every step of the way.  More importantly, He is here with me at this very moment.  The mountains that I foresee looming ahead of me may not even be there.  Many of them are probably just figments of my imagination.  And for the ones that really are there, He is going to help me climb them.  Some of them, He may even destroy so that I don't have to climb them at all. 

There are some very encouraging scriptures (that I found at Bible Cafe for Women) that apply to worrying, and I thought it would be helpful to you and myself both to share them.  I have come to discover that reading these scriptures over and over, and truly believing them, is the best way to overcome worry.

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7 NIV

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matt 6:34 NIV

I can do all this through him who gives me strength.  Phil 4:13 NIV

But make up your mind not to worry beforehand how you will defend yourselves. Luke 21:14 NIV

Those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.  Isaiah 40:31 NIV

Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings Psalm 17:8 NIV

Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken. Psalm 55:22 NIV

I keep my eyes always on the LORD. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken..  Psalm16:8 NIV

Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.  Psalm 62:6 NIV

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? Matt 6:25-27 NIV

Sunday, October 14, 2012

I Broke My Toe, Again!


Well, I did it again.  I broke my pinky toe.  I first broke it when I believe I was about 12 years old.  I was going down a tunnel waterslide at Holiday World only to find that a kid was stuck in it.  My foot rammed into his back so hard that it broke my toe.  I couldn't walk for almost two weeks. 

This time, I broke it on my mom's exercise bike.  Sad thing is, I wasn't exercising.  I was simply trying to walk around it.  Early yesterday morning, I was walking through her room, and then, BAM...my toe hit her bike.  I immediately knew I had probably broke it.  It doesn't hurt today near as bad as it did yesterday, but as you can see in the pic above, it is turning into a nasty looking little toe. 

Why wasn't I more careful?  Why did I have to turn something so simple as walking through a room into something that caused my poor little toe to break again?  Lol.   That's the typical me.  Always turning simple tasks into something that brings about pain. 

Moral of my posting is take time to do the little things.  If you don't do them right, this can lead to painful circumstances.  Even the simplest things, such as walking, must be accomplished with caution. 

Sunday, October 7, 2012

I Answered All of Them

 
 
1) Whitney Leigh White             23) my son
2) 26/Aries                                  24) good and getting better
3) Writer                                     25) Christmas
4) the first one                            26) don't have one
5) don't have one                        27) enjoying freedom, writing, spending time with my loved ones
6) don't have one                        28) I like sleep more than I should
7) P.S. I Love You                     29) tiny dogs
8) The Bible                               30) don't have any
9) Good Luck Charlie                31) not knowing if I have to go to prison
10) don't have one                      32) my son and his father
11) Matthew McConaughey      33) reading the bible and chewing my fingernails
12) reading, surfing the web      34) hotfries and hot wings
13) writing and playing piano    35) Josh Hartnett
14) make it through to heaven   36) three
15) science/math                        37) ???
16) my mom and Eddie             38) my man--tall, dark, handsome, country
17) Creepin                                39) forever taken
18) American Honey                 40) a home with my son and Eddie
19) buying a car                         41) content and loved
20) Disney music but I love it   42) going to prison, be separated from my son
21) falling out of a tree house   43) wildflowers, storms, going out to eat, good music
22) Eddie
 


Saturday, October 6, 2012

Cure Anxiety with Mexican Food


Today turned out to be a really good day.  At first, I didn't know how well it was gonna go because I was overwhelmed with anxiety.  My son got invited to a birthday party for a boy who is in his pre-school class, and being that he is only four years old, his father and I thought it best that we stay with him instead of leaving him with complete strangers that we do not know. 

So, why does this type of situation make me anxious?  Well, I am not a people person.  Social situations often make me freak out.  All week I had been trying to prepare myself for this 5 year old's birthday party, but yet when today got here, I got to the point where I was almost throwing up.  I thought to myself, "Whitney, get it together.  Your 'lil boy wants to go to his friend's party, so you are gonna have to suck it up and do your best to get through it." 

Finally, after sleeping half the day away cause I felt like my stomach was literally being tied into a knot, I dragged myself out of bed and got ready for the party.  At the last minute, my little brother who is only a year older than my son decided he wanted to go to the party.  So, there we were.  Two little ones, my son's father, and I all on our way to this party that I was so nervous about attending.  We get to the city park where the party is supposed to be taking place, and immediately I notice something is missing.  There are no pirate balloons.  The invitation said to be on the lookout for pirate balloons, but there were none in sight. 

How could this happen?   This party that I had become so anxious about attending was not even taking place.  Turns out, a dip in the day's temperature caused the party to be moved to the little boy's grandmother's house.  The little boy's mom was unable to reach me and was not able to tell me about the relocation.  I felt so sorry for my son and my little brother that they were going to miss out on the party, but in my head my thoughts were doing joyous flips :)   What's even better is that since we missed out on the party, my son's father decided he wanted to take us all out to eat at a local Mexican restaurant.  I love Mexican food!!

What happened today reminded me that there are so many things in life that I get anxious about for no reason.  So many mole hills that I turn into mountains.  I really need to reevaluate the things that I get anxious about.  I mean, even if the birthday party had been going on, I'm sure everything would have went great, and that my son's father and I would have probably met some really nice people.  And as for all the other issues that I get anxious about, I need to constantly remind myself that they are only temporary, and the odds are, they are probably much smaller problems than I turn them out to be. 

So, the point of today's posting is 'don't waste your time being anxious...go do whatever you got to do and then go eat Mexican' ;)

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Sometimes I Don't Know What to Write About

Sometimes I don't know what to write about. During these past two weeks, my inspiration to write has not really been there. It's not that I am getting to a point where I don't like writing. It's just that nothing too exciting has really happened; however, for that I am thankful. I am perfectly content with no surprises. No emotional turn-abouts. No drama. And definitely no run ins with the legal system. I just wish my mind would spark back up and provide me with some good ideas and topics to write about.

As for tonight, when trying to decide what I want to write about, the only thought that has dawned on me is to write about how my troubles over the past few months have left a positive impact on my life. See, I have learned that no matter how bad life gets, good can come out of troublesome times. Positive aspects exist in every situation, but we can only see them if we have our eyes open.

My life seems kinda screwed up right now. It is only by God's grace that I am not sitting behind bars because I am out on bond. I have a curfew that I have to abide by which makes it impossible to go out of town at night. And there are especially no out of state trips going on for me. At one time in my life, abiding by a curfew would have been something that I would not have done. I would have lived life on the edge and risked being put in jail just so I could fulfill my selfish desires; however, I am not that person anymore. God has taken my troubles and changed me through them. Literally, I am a completely new and better person than I used to be.

Even after I had my son four years ago, I continued to make selfish choices, but now I do my best to put others first. I guess the best thing that has come about from my troubles is that I am a better mother. I spend more quality time with my son, and I do a much better job at attending to my motherly responsibilities.

Another positive thing that has come about is that I am being provided a tremendous amount of time to spend with my family. Being on a curfew and living at my parent's home really means I'm putting in the hours with my family. And it's been a really good time spending these past few months with them.

Lastly, my personal time spent with God has increased a hundred fold compared to what it used to be. I really take my time now seeking His will for my life. I understand that He has sovereignly allowed my troublesome times to occur in my life, and that there is some purpose behind what is going on. I'm doing my best to understand what it is that He wants me to learn.

My life is so less hectic than it used to be. So much more peaceful. I never would have thought that I could be a person who finds peace in life even when facing up to 20 years in prison, but through
God's grace, He has allowed me to come to terms with the fact that I am not in control of life. He is. I hate the thought of having to go away from my family, especially my dear, precious son, but if God allows it to happen, then I know that He is using me to accomplish some purpose of His. More importantly, I know that He does not actually need me to accomplish His purposes; but, through His mercy, He is choosing to use me because He loves me.

Whether I have to go away or not, is up to Him. If He chooses to not use me behind bars, then I know that there is some purpose He wants me to fulfill out here in the world.   More importantly, I also keep in mind that there is some purpose He is accomplishing through me at this very moment. 

Just remember, no matter where you go, God is always there, and He always has some purpose that He is accomplishing.  No matter the troubles and trials that you are facing, God is using them for a good purpose. Let Him have His way with you. For many years I resisted the fact that He is ever so present in my life, and that got me nowhere except facing a long time in prison. Don't be like me. Accept Him for who He is. He is everything. He is God.