Name Something that You No Longer Worry About

I figured I could easily answer this prompt, but when I sit down and think about it, in order for me to honestly answer it, I have to say that there is nothing that I no longer worry about. I know that I should not worry about things, yet, I still do. Anything and everything, every little detail of life, I still worry about. I even have two worry lines in between my eyes.

I hope one day that I get to a point in which I do not worry as much, but as for today, worrying consumes a lot of my time. It wasn't too long ago that I wrote a posting advising other people to not worry about things. To hand their problems over to God. I guess I need to take my own words to heart.

A Few of My Thoughts

Even the strongest person has a pain within them that at times must be expressed through tears.

A love for life is a desire to live.  A desire for more than what we already have because we know life can get better.

I cannot overcome this sinful nature without becoming its master.  In order to master it, I must let it go...into my Master's hands---Jesus Christ!

Suffering has brought me hope.  Hope is something many people never experience.  So, if suffering is what must be endured, then let us all suffer so that we can realize that true hope does exist.

Prayer is my most powerful resource.  Praise be to Jesus that it is also my most abundant.  Prayer is what will save me from my troubles, because my prayers are prayed in the name of Jesus, which is the one and only Savior.

My attitude and mind have been renewed.  With this type of refreshment, I can overcome anything.

For those within my life who appear weak and depressed, I pray you find the joy which is provided by my God.

It hurts seeing my loved ones endure consequences that are a result of my actions and choices.  Yet through all this, they show me what real love is.  They become greater blessings within my life than they previously have been.

This well of mine at one time ran dry, and thus I hit its rock bottom, but as for now and forevermore, it is a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life.

I will win this race marked out before me.  I see God in everything and to him I am sprinting.

Troublesome Times and Perseverance

Troublesome times in my life often bring on moments of depression, denial, anger, and guilt.  I wish life were like a computer keyboard, where moments of trouble could simply be cleared away by pressing the delete key, but it is not.  Instead, I have to endure through them.  Persevere through them. 

For me, setbacks in life have come from my constant failure to steer clear of sinful behaviors.  At times, I feel like giving up, but these are the moments in which my perseverance has to be at its best.  I cannot get down on myself for the mistakes I make.  Even the ones I continually make over and over.  I have to remember that failures are accompanied with doors of opportunities.  Opportunities for me to learn from, and some of them are the back door to success.  Ultimate success.

One thing I have learned about myself is that at times I become overconfident.  I persevere through one trial and think that I have this life figured out, and this of course leads me back to my old sinful behaviors.  While it is unfortunate that I at times go back to old behaviors, in doing so I am constantly reminded that I am human.  Reminded that I am going to make mistakes.  There are some sins in this life that I may struggle with until the day I die, but until then, the best thing I can do is continue to endure through them with the help, grace, and mercy of my God. 

Currently, there are two trials that I am having to faithfully persevere through: a legal matter and a relationship matter.  Each trial has its own difficulties, but each is requiring the same type of perseverance from me.  The perseverance is one that includes within itself patience, understanding, acceptance, and more.  I fully understand why I am going through each trial, so the understanding part of perseverance is easy.  The acceptance of the trials is quite simple too because I realize I brought upon myself both of them.  The patience part is what is the hardest.  See, I'm not a real patient person to begin with, and now I am having to patiently wait to see what the outcome of both trials is going to be like.  I know that God is working behind the scenes, in complete control of each trial's outcome, but it is hard being patient while he works. 

Fortunately, I am able to sustain a good attitude through both trials, fully believing that God will work each trial out in the best manner possible.  Hopefully, my legal matter is going to work out in a way in which I will spend a minimal amount of time behind bars, as well as not have a smeared mark on my criminal record.  And the relationship trial...well, I am fully confident that both parties involved have already been provided enough perseverance and strength to continue loving one another until the day they can be together. 

Perseverance is a difficult characteristic to sustain, and I in no way have it mastered, but I am learning, and I hope each of you who are reading this know or learn how important it is to persevere through the trials in your life.  In doing so you will become a better person.  You will become stronger.  Most importantly, the people around you will greatly appreciate your efforts in learning how to turn troublesome times into opportunities of success.  In fact, you very well may be the person who teaches another person how to persevere.

Things to Do on House Arrest

 

Even though I am not legally on house arrest, since I am out-n-about on a $10,000 bond, thanks to the signature of my parents, they have instilled the house arrest rules on their own.  I do not really blame them though.  I mean if I go out and mess up, then they lose $10,000, and none of us want that to happen. 

Any of you that have ever been on house arrest knows that it SUCKS!  Do not get me wrong, it is much better than sitting in jail (I've done that too), but being confined to one's home while the rest of the world is taking part in other activities can really get to a person's mind.  Well, at least to my mind it does. 

So, what is a person to do while on house arrest?  I researched this topic, and to my amusement, I found mostly a bunch of stupid answers.  Some people responded, "get high", "churn butter", "drink beer".  Um, no thanks.  For most of us, getting high and drinking is probably what led us to committing our crimes from the beginning.  Now, the whole churning butter thing, I might would give that a try (if I got bored enough;). 

Ok, so now on to some helpful responses.  Some people suggested watching Netflix.  I think this idea is wonderful.  I have recently started watching Netflix, and I love the wonderful selection of shows and movies it has.  Sons of Anarchy is my favorite show so far.  Within two days I watched two seasons of the show and fell in love with it.

Exercising is of course a wonderful idea, if you can turn it into something more than an idea.  Everyday I keep telling myself I am gonna exercise, but it has not happened yet.  I guess I haven't got bored enough yet. 

I am a paid freelance writer, so being on house arrest has not affected my employment.  If you are looking for some ways to make some money while confined to your home, and if you have any writing skills whatsoever, give writing a try.  An excellent company to be employed through is Textbroker.  They accept all types of writers and have a multitude of subjects to write about. 

Lastly, if you are a believer in God, try getting to know him a little better.  My relationship with him has grown extensively since I have gotten into legal trouble.  Some of God's greatest works come from those people who are bed-ridden, as well as those people who enter into the criminal justice system.  Through our weaknesses, he makes us strong.  For me, the best way to strengthen my relationship with God is by reading his word...the Bible.  Every troublesome time within our life, like being on house arrest, holds a great lesson within it that we are supposed to learn.  Try learning your lesson.  Ask God to show it to you. 

To all the readers of this posting, if you have never been on house arrest, I hope you never have to.  For those of you who have or are, best of luck in filling your time.  I think the number one thing to do is not waste time being jealous of those people out there in the world who are carrying on with their normal lives.  For me, not being jealous is hard.  I so bad want to be out there doing what normal people do.  But, I'm getting better.  Just remember, you aren't alone.  Thousands of us are on house arrest.  And chances are, almost all of us are doing the exact same thing...surfing the Internet.

Ways to Overcome Self Pity

Today was one of those days.  You know, one that does not quite go like you expect it to, but in the back of your head, you know that a day in which things do not go according to plan is nothing out of the ordinary.  In fact, if you are anything like me, this type of day is so common that it brings forth

a strong sense of familiarity.

There are some people in my life that I cannot figure out.  I cannot figure out their motives, nor if anything they say is true or not.  For the life of me, I want to believe everything they say, but then again part of me wants not to believe it, because some of things they say cut me deep.

I am really trying to not smother myself in self pity today about not knowing how to 'take' some people.  I have done a pretty good job at avoiding it so far, but the night has not even gotten here yet.  So, to help myself, I think it is key to remind myself how to avoid such a horrible feeling to get caught up in.  Below, is what I have come up with so far when it comes to clearing one's mind of self pity.

Quit Thinking Obsessively

Self pity is a behavior.  People undergo feelings of self pity when they obsessively think about a certain situation.  In order to overcome it, a person has to acknowledge that it exist, as well as completely rid of the thoughts that initially caused one to pity his or herself.  Negative persons, as I tend to be, are often the worse people when it comes to pitying themselves.  We have to get rid of the negative thoughts.  Whatever the situation is that is causing feelings of self pity, it needs to be completely forgotten about.  Almost as if it never happened.  This does not mean we cannot learn from the situation, as the best type of learning often comes from the worst of circumstances, but we have to move on.  WE HAVE TO GET OVER OURSELVES!!

Physical Exercise (I am still working on this one;)

Movement of the body relieves stress, and for people with self pity, it can help eliminate the associated feelings too.  The more we move, the better our body and mind feels.  Plus, since we are exerting energy into exercising, we have less energy to devote to feelings of self pity. 

Be Thankful

I believe that one of the number one ways to overcome self pity is to have an attitude of gratitude.  Be thankful for anything and everything.  It is pertinent that we people who loathe in self pity remember that God allowed every circumstance to occur within our life for a certain reason.  And, usually this reason is so that we can become a better person from it.  The underlying beneficial factor in keeping an attitude of gratitude is that you CANNOT be grateful and sorry for yourself at the same time.  So, if you choose gratefulness, then self pity goes out the window and has no area in your mind to consume.

It Could Always be Worse

Just remember, things can always get worse.  Sure, they could get better, but pray they do not get worse.  Oh yeah, key thing to do is PRAY.  Prayer is the most powerful tool you can use to overcome self pity.  Just give it a try.  I promise it will work.

Four Months Ago

Four months ago seems like it was forever ago, yet, then again, it kind've feels like yesterday all at the same time.  It has been four months ago to this very day that a major transformation took place in my life...I decided to start making better decisions.  So, where has that gotten me?  Well, it has gotten me into legal trouble, as well as sitting here tonight with a broken heart.  I am not implying that I regret the decision I made four months ago, but things certainly have not gone as I expected them to. 

I have always heard the saying 'things have to get worse before they can get better';  today, this old saying definitely applies to me.  Looking back at the past several months, even though I have made much better choices than I used to, many parts of my life have completely fallen apart.  Thankfully though, God has allowed this to happen so that he can show me how powerful he is.  Each and every broken piece he picks up for me, placing it back into my puzzling life, right where it belongs.  At times, the pieces of my life seem like they fit together perfectly, but through God's grace and his rearranging of them, I am able to see how they can better fit together when they are taken out and placed back within at a different angle. 

Angles.  Life is all about looking at it from different angles.  I might think at times that life is looking good, yet from another angle, it is completely backwards of how it should be.  Backwards of how God wants it to be. 

Thank you God for showing me once again that some pieces of my life need to be rearranged.  None of them need to be thrown away, they just need to be placed within my life at a different angle.  Thank you for placing people within my life who show me how wonderful life can be, with or without them.  Thank you for helping me make that 'good' choice that I made four months ago.  I cannot wait to see how the next four months will go.  Whether things continue to get worse or better, I know you are there holding my hand all the way. 

Ok, Whatever. Peace.

For me, there is always that one person in life that I cannot seem to see eye to eye with.  That I cannot come to some type of agreeable terms with.  Does this mean we are bad people?  That we do not care about one another?  Absolutely not!  It just means that neither one of us has gotten to a point in life in which we are completely unselfish.  We both still have our own agendas, and they apparently do not correlate with another. 

So, does this mean an entire relationship should be flushed away?  All the moments of laughter, growth and progress completely forgotten about?  No.  But life is what it is.  Some things are lost, some things are won.  Sometimes the things that matter the most to us, we simply lose.  We grasp on to them with all of our strength, but our strength alone is not strong enough to hold on to them for forever. 

Would not it be easier to simply agree to not agree, while at the same time agreeing to endure through the hardships and use them as opportunties of growth?  Well, yes it would be easier, but this cannot take place when one side of a relationship thinks he or she has done nothing wrong.  For me, in this type of situation, I have to simply add another chalk mark under my life's 'lost column'. 

So, what do I do now?  What are these next few weeks going to be like?

I can tell you what I am not going to do.  I am not going to use a substance to numb the pain.  I am not going to make another stupid mistake and get into more legal trouble. 

I will make it through tonight.  Tomorrow.  Next week.  Through the rest of my life.  I will learn from the mistakes made in not being able to see eye to eye with a person.  Mostly, I will from now on look at those people whom I cannot agree with and say the following 3 meaningful words, "OK, whatever. Peace."