Things to Do on House Arrest

 

Even though I am not legally on house arrest, since I am out-n-about on a $10,000 bond, thanks to the signature of my parents, they have instilled the house arrest rules on their own.  I do not really blame them though.  I mean if I go out and mess up, then they lose $10,000, and none of us want that to happen. 

Any of you that have ever been on house arrest knows that it SUCKS!  Do not get me wrong, it is much better than sitting in jail (I've done that too), but being confined to one's home while the rest of the world is taking part in other activities can really get to a person's mind.  Well, at least to my mind it does. 

So, what is a person to do while on house arrest?  I researched this topic, and to my amusement, I found mostly a bunch of stupid answers.  Some people responded, "get high", "churn butter", "drink beer".  Um, no thanks.  For most of us, getting high and drinking is probably what led us to committing our crimes from the beginning.  Now, the whole churning butter thing, I might would give that a try (if I got bored enough;). 

Ok, so now on to some helpful responses.  Some people suggested watching Netflix.  I think this idea is wonderful.  I have recently started watching Netflix, and I love the wonderful selection of shows and movies it has.  Sons of Anarchy is my favorite show so far.  Within two days I watched two seasons of the show and fell in love with it.

Exercising is of course a wonderful idea, if you can turn it into something more than an idea.  Everyday I keep telling myself I am gonna exercise, but it has not happened yet.  I guess I haven't got bored enough yet. 

I am a paid freelance writer, so being on house arrest has not affected my employment.  If you are looking for some ways to make some money while confined to your home, and if you have any writing skills whatsoever, give writing a try.  An excellent company to be employed through is Textbroker.  They accept all types of writers and have a multitude of subjects to write about. 

Lastly, if you are a believer in God, try getting to know him a little better.  My relationship with him has grown extensively since I have gotten into legal trouble.  Some of God's greatest works come from those people who are bed-ridden, as well as those people who enter into the criminal justice system.  Through our weaknesses, he makes us strong.  For me, the best way to strengthen my relationship with God is by reading his word...the Bible.  Every troublesome time within our life, like being on house arrest, holds a great lesson within it that we are supposed to learn.  Try learning your lesson.  Ask God to show it to you. 

To all the readers of this posting, if you have never been on house arrest, I hope you never have to.  For those of you who have or are, best of luck in filling your time.  I think the number one thing to do is not waste time being jealous of those people out there in the world who are carrying on with their normal lives.  For me, not being jealous is hard.  I so bad want to be out there doing what normal people do.  But, I'm getting better.  Just remember, you aren't alone.  Thousands of us are on house arrest.  And chances are, almost all of us are doing the exact same thing...surfing the Internet.

Ways to Overcome Self Pity

Today was one of those days.  You know, one that does not quite go like you expect it to, but in the back of your head, you know that a day in which things do not go according to plan is nothing out of the ordinary.  In fact, if you are anything like me, this type of day is so common that it brings forth

a strong sense of familiarity.

There are some people in my life that I cannot figure out.  I cannot figure out their motives, nor if anything they say is true or not.  For the life of me, I want to believe everything they say, but then again part of me wants not to believe it, because some of things they say cut me deep.

I am really trying to not smother myself in self pity today about not knowing how to 'take' some people.  I have done a pretty good job at avoiding it so far, but the night has not even gotten here yet.  So, to help myself, I think it is key to remind myself how to avoid such a horrible feeling to get caught up in.  Below, is what I have come up with so far when it comes to clearing one's mind of self pity.

Quit Thinking Obsessively

Self pity is a behavior.  People undergo feelings of self pity when they obsessively think about a certain situation.  In order to overcome it, a person has to acknowledge that it exist, as well as completely rid of the thoughts that initially caused one to pity his or herself.  Negative persons, as I tend to be, are often the worse people when it comes to pitying themselves.  We have to get rid of the negative thoughts.  Whatever the situation is that is causing feelings of self pity, it needs to be completely forgotten about.  Almost as if it never happened.  This does not mean we cannot learn from the situation, as the best type of learning often comes from the worst of circumstances, but we have to move on.  WE HAVE TO GET OVER OURSELVES!!

Physical Exercise (I am still working on this one;)

Movement of the body relieves stress, and for people with self pity, it can help eliminate the associated feelings too.  The more we move, the better our body and mind feels.  Plus, since we are exerting energy into exercising, we have less energy to devote to feelings of self pity. 

Be Thankful

I believe that one of the number one ways to overcome self pity is to have an attitude of gratitude.  Be thankful for anything and everything.  It is pertinent that we people who loathe in self pity remember that God allowed every circumstance to occur within our life for a certain reason.  And, usually this reason is so that we can become a better person from it.  The underlying beneficial factor in keeping an attitude of gratitude is that you CANNOT be grateful and sorry for yourself at the same time.  So, if you choose gratefulness, then self pity goes out the window and has no area in your mind to consume.

It Could Always be Worse

Just remember, things can always get worse.  Sure, they could get better, but pray they do not get worse.  Oh yeah, key thing to do is PRAY.  Prayer is the most powerful tool you can use to overcome self pity.  Just give it a try.  I promise it will work.

Four Months Ago

Four months ago seems like it was forever ago, yet, then again, it kind've feels like yesterday all at the same time.  It has been four months ago to this very day that a major transformation took place in my life...I decided to start making better decisions.  So, where has that gotten me?  Well, it has gotten me into legal trouble, as well as sitting here tonight with a broken heart.  I am not implying that I regret the decision I made four months ago, but things certainly have not gone as I expected them to. 

I have always heard the saying 'things have to get worse before they can get better';  today, this old saying definitely applies to me.  Looking back at the past several months, even though I have made much better choices than I used to, many parts of my life have completely fallen apart.  Thankfully though, God has allowed this to happen so that he can show me how powerful he is.  Each and every broken piece he picks up for me, placing it back into my puzzling life, right where it belongs.  At times, the pieces of my life seem like they fit together perfectly, but through God's grace and his rearranging of them, I am able to see how they can better fit together when they are taken out and placed back within at a different angle. 

Angles.  Life is all about looking at it from different angles.  I might think at times that life is looking good, yet from another angle, it is completely backwards of how it should be.  Backwards of how God wants it to be. 

Thank you God for showing me once again that some pieces of my life need to be rearranged.  None of them need to be thrown away, they just need to be placed within my life at a different angle.  Thank you for placing people within my life who show me how wonderful life can be, with or without them.  Thank you for helping me make that 'good' choice that I made four months ago.  I cannot wait to see how the next four months will go.  Whether things continue to get worse or better, I know you are there holding my hand all the way. 

Ok, Whatever. Peace.

For me, there is always that one person in life that I cannot seem to see eye to eye with.  That I cannot come to some type of agreeable terms with.  Does this mean we are bad people?  That we do not care about one another?  Absolutely not!  It just means that neither one of us has gotten to a point in life in which we are completely unselfish.  We both still have our own agendas, and they apparently do not correlate with another. 

So, does this mean an entire relationship should be flushed away?  All the moments of laughter, growth and progress completely forgotten about?  No.  But life is what it is.  Some things are lost, some things are won.  Sometimes the things that matter the most to us, we simply lose.  We grasp on to them with all of our strength, but our strength alone is not strong enough to hold on to them for forever. 

Would not it be easier to simply agree to not agree, while at the same time agreeing to endure through the hardships and use them as opportunties of growth?  Well, yes it would be easier, but this cannot take place when one side of a relationship thinks he or she has done nothing wrong.  For me, in this type of situation, I have to simply add another chalk mark under my life's 'lost column'. 

So, what do I do now?  What are these next few weeks going to be like?

I can tell you what I am not going to do.  I am not going to use a substance to numb the pain.  I am not going to make another stupid mistake and get into more legal trouble. 

I will make it through tonight.  Tomorrow.  Next week.  Through the rest of my life.  I will learn from the mistakes made in not being able to see eye to eye with a person.  Mostly, I will from now on look at those people whom I cannot agree with and say the following 3 meaningful words, "OK, whatever. Peace."

What does "having it all" mean to you? Is it attainable?

To me, "having it all" means having a perfect life. Perfect health, perfect relationships, perfect attitude, perfect peace. And no, for me, it is not attainable.

My health is not as good as it should be; this is due to many years of injecting illegal substances into my body. My relationships are far from perfect. My attitude often needs a readjustment. And my peace is still working itself out.

Thankfully, I am not a person who wants to "have it all". I am content with the health I have, for it could be far worse. I am content with my relationships because they are growing in a healthy manner. I am content with my attitude, for it has gotten a lot better now that I have realized the world does not revolve around myself. And my peace with the world and myself is getting much stronger.

With all that said, in a sense, I do "have it all", because I have everything I need, and that is all that matters. If you know anyone that "has it all", has that perfect life, please let me know. I would love to meet them.

No More Stayin Awake for Days

One-thirty in the morning, and I am still awake.  Some things just never change for me...like the late hours of staying awake; however, this night, I can assure you, I will be closing my eyes before too long, which is unlike many of my yesterdays in which I would not close them for several days. 

I am so glad that the 'staying awake for several days at a time' thing has changed for me.  I feel so much healthier now that I have been getting proper amounts of sleep, as well as proper amounts of food.  My life is not perfect or anything, nor did I expect it to be by merely changing the substances that I put into my body, but it is much better than it used to be.  My relationships are better, my work ethic is better, and my spiritual life has taken a leap forward. 

Still yet, I constantly have to remind myself that I am not in control of every detail within my life.  Yeah, I can control what substances enter my body, what words my ears hear, and what sights my eyes take in, but that is about it.  Everything else is out of my control.  I cannot control what tomorrow will bring, and I keep finding that worrying about my tomorrows is what seems to keep me so anxious, as well as what keeps me up on nights like tonight.

I hate feelings of anxiety.  Literally hate them.  I want so bad to know what next week and the next few months will be like for me, and this is what keeps me on edge. 

I am thankful to my God that I am learning to be patient.  That he has helped reduce the amount of anxiety in my life, but still yet, the anxiety still lingers within me.  Slowly but surely, I know that God is working out everything for me.  That the outcome of the next few days, weeks, months, and years will be for the best.  The best for me.  The best for my son.  The best for everyone that I love. 

Keeping all that in mind, I think I will go to sleep now.  It is nice going to sleep knowing that someone greater than myself is working behind the scenes to take care of my problems, cause I sure cannot.  Even the stupid, idiotic problems that I have caused for myself, my God is taking care of. 

If you have any problems, whether they be significant or stupid, hand them over to God.  He will take care of them.  Trust me, he has gotten plenty of experience dealing with my petty problems that I know he can handle anything.  He's been doing this whole 'hand your problems over to him' thing for a long time now. 

My Changing of Seasons

Tingling sensations of energy often find their way flowing within my mind and soul during the change of a new season. Through many years, it has also become a familiarity that no matter how a season ends or evolves, the invisible process that takes place, especially from Winter to Spring, becomes a contagious concoction.

Those people who delve out the effort and time to soak in the wondrous sensations of the positive-inconsistency that cloak many of our day to day routines find their selves bathing in moments of euphoria. Change is good, especially if you get to a point like me where nothing but a good change can fix many of your daily and/or lifelong issues that keep you awake at night.

 If you regularly do not notice environmental adaptions that take place from one season to another, at least begin to look within yourself and assess how your body, mind, and soul go through continual seasons of change. This type of seasonal-personal evaluation very well may be the sense of motivation you have been looking for lately. I know it has been for me.