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Monday, July 2, 2012

No More Stayin Awake for Days


One-thirty in the morning, and I am still awake.  Some things just never change for me...like the late hours of staying awake; however, this night, I can assure you, I will be closing my eyes before too long, which is unlike many of my yesterdays in which I would not close them for several days. 

I am so glad that the 'staying awake for several days at a time' thing has changed for me.  I feel so much healthier now that I have been getting proper amounts of sleep, as well as proper amounts of food.  My life is not perfect or anything, nor did I expect it to be by merely changing the substances that I put into my body, but it is much better than it used to be.  My relationships are better, my work ethic is better, and my spiritual life has taken a leap forward. 

Still yet, I constantly have to remind myself that I am not in control of every detail within my life.  Yeah, I can control what substances enter my body, what words my ears hear, and what sights my eyes take in, but that is about it.  Everything else is out of my control.  I cannot control what tomorrow will bring, and I keep finding that worrying about my tomorrows is what seems to keep me so anxious, as well as what keeps me up on nights like tonight.

I hate feelings of anxiety.  Literally hate them.  I want so bad to know what next week and the next few months will be like for me, and this is what keeps me on edge. 

I am thankful to my God that I am learning to be patient.  That he has helped reduce the amount of anxiety in my life, but still yet, the anxiety still lingers within me.  Slowly but surely, I know that God is working out everything for me.  That the outcome of the next few days, weeks, months, and years will be for the best.  The best for me.  The best for my son.  The best for everyone that I love. 

Keeping all that in mind, I think I will go to sleep now.  It is nice going to sleep knowing that someone greater than myself is working behind the scenes to take care of my problems, cause I sure cannot.  Even the stupid, idiotic problems that I have caused for myself, my God is taking care of. 

If you have any problems, whether they be significant or stupid, hand them over to God.  He will take care of them.  Trust me, he has gotten plenty of experience dealing with my petty problems that I know he can handle anything.  He's been doing this whole 'hand your problems over to him' thing for a long time now. 

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