A Godly Princess

During my younger years, I was just like many other girls who had been raised in America.  I was provided an education from public schools, and I was told "Whitney, you can become whatever you want to be."  I believed it.  I honestly believed I could go as far in life as I wanted.  Not only did I place confidence in this statement because I was being told it by my parents, but my academics reflected the necessary qualifications that becoming whatever I wanted was indeed a great possibility. 

I grew up receiving what I consider a 'perfect childhood.'  I never heard my parents yell at one another.  Money was at times an issue, but not for long.  By the time I was seven my father began creating for himself a home-building business in which he used to completely rid my family of any debt they were in.  Still to this day, my family has no debt.  My father has lived his life sticking to his morals, values, and beliefs, which include never being in debt with anyone. 

Also, during my childhood, I was fully supported by my parents in whatever endeavors I wanted to go on.  From sports to playing piano to traveling the United States, my parents were always by my side to cheer me on.  I was in fact, an Amercian little princess in their eyes. 

By the time I was 13, I had decided what I wanted to do in life.  I wanted to be an accountant, and my math skills proved to myself and my family that I had what it would take to excel in any type of accounting career that I chose to follow.  With time, effort, patience, and guidance from God, I could become whatever I wanted to be.  I could become the CEO of a company.  I could build my own business from the ground up.  I could even be a stay-at-home mother if I chose and work out of a home office.  In reality, anything I wanted was attainable.

But, my dreams were crushed.  Completely shattered.  The little princess who had her eyes focused on the things that mattered in life such as God, family, school, etc., quickly learned at a young age that she suffered from a drug addiction.  My ability to maintain focus on God, my family, and other important things deteriorated.  For 13 years, my attention span became no larger than being able to think about how I was going to get my next high, and this didn't require much thought, as I always found it simple to manipulate people into supplying me with the drugs I thought I needed. 

Now, as a woman who has reached 26 years of age, I sit here bewildered.  I find it so hard to believe that I used to live my life the way I did.  I also find it so overwhelming that God loves me so much that he chose to keep me safe all those years.  Not only me, but also my four year old son, as well as his father who also suffered from a drug addiction. 

Who am I that God has chosen to take such a broken life, full of shame, guilt, and shattered dreams, and rebuild it into something that is of worth value to him?  It's most definitely not because of something I have done.  It's simply because he loves me. 

For the rest of my life, I will be recovering from my past.  I will be recovering from a drug addiction that took me down some of the darkest roads imaginable.  It is a slow process, but one definitely worth the end result, which is heaven. 

No matter what we do in life, no matter how shattered our dreams may become, we still have God.  He is always patiently waiting for us to turn back to him.  He is ready to help us.  Just take me for example; he took an 'American princess turned junkie' and transformed me into his little princess.  A godly princess. 

Keep Your Mouth Shut

Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut. Proverbs 10:19 (NLT)

We humans often feel compelled to talk.  To talk a little bit more.  Followed by more talking.  In many situations, this only leads to disaster.  Saying the wrong thing can hurt people.  Asking the wrong questions can hurt people as well.

We would all be wise to take into consideration the words that we speak to one another.  Most likely, there are people in our life that we could go without talking to.  If so, then stop speaking to them.  If talking to a certain person only reveals emotions and feelings that are not healthy, stop speaking with that person.  Texting and emailing apply as well. 

If we really think about it, there are probably only a few choice people in our life that we HAVE to talk to.  Now, I'm not saying that it is ok to be rude and ignore people who try to have a conversation with us, but we don't have to delve out to them every detail of our life when answering a question.  In fact, most questions can be answered with a simple yes or no. 

We, and this applies just as much to me as it does everyone else, need to realize that too much talk leads to sin.  Keeping our mouths shut, as well as keeping our fingers idle instead of typing away at texting and instant messaging, very well may help us lead more sensible lives. 

If you are anything like me, you could use a little more sense in your life.  One of the best ways to do this is to stop talking, texting, and emailing so much.  Have a great day!!!

P.S. And if you feel you must talk, try talking to the man above.  And then keep your mouth shut so you can hear what he has to say.  That's just a tip I thought I would throw in. 

Looking in the Wrong Direction

In the picture above, neither my son nor I are looking towards the camera.  I often find in my life that I am not looking in the right direction.  While the picture did turn out quite nicely I think, most of the time in life, when we don't look in the right direction, this only leads us to disaster. 

I have looked in every direction there is.  North. South. East. West. Men. Drugs. Money...ect., and every one of these directions eventually led to me holding my head down.  I always ended up holding my head down because I was overcome with shame and guilt.

There is only one direction we need to look towards.  And that is towards God.  Thankfully, he is all around us, so no matter what path we find ourselves traveling down, we can still find him.  We can look whatever way we want, and he will always be there. 

A life full of mistakes will readily keep a person looking down.  At least it has for me.  I am so thankful for God's forgiveness.  No matter how we hurt others or ourselves, by looking towards him, he will wipe away years of guilt, shame, and tears.  He will at times gently help us hold our head back up high.  And in some circumstances, like the one I went through not too long ago, he goes beyond being gentle and in a positive yet aggressive manner turns our heads and eyes towards him. 

We should all take the time to evaluate how God holds our lives together.  How he takes our mistakes and turns them into doorways leading to success for those of us that love him.  Failures are our greatest moments in life in which we can learn something; this is something that should never be forgotten.  We should rejoice while swimming through darkness, because if we have our eyes spiritually tuned, we will always see the light.  And everyone knows light shines the brightest in the dark.

Life is about Learning Instructions

I have never climbed a mountain.  To be quite honest, I have never partaken in any type of extreme physical endeavor.  At one time, back in my youth, I was quite athletic, but nowadays, physical adventurers are something that I would have to carefully prepare for. 

I guess that's what I'm doing right now.  Preparing for the mountains in my life that I am gonna have to climb.  At least that's all I can comprehend out of the situations in which God has placed me.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining.  In fact, I'm quite satisfied with how my life is going.  The conditioning that I am going through is not as rough as I thought it would be, but that is only because I am fully giving my life to someone else.  To God. 

No matter the paths that he leads me down, I know that he is preparing me for them at this very moment.  Right now as I type these words, think these thoughts, he is preparing me. 

There are certain people in my life, as well as those who are no longer in my life, that have blessed me beyond measure.  To each of you, know that you are deeply loved and I am forever and a day grateful for the things I have learned from you as well as what I am still learning. 

When people enter into our lives, we never know how our paths with  them will end.  And sometimes, every once in awhile, we are blessed to continue down a path with someone that lasts for much longer than we ever expected. 

No matter how our paths end or continue on, it is pertinent that we make sure God is leading us down them.  If not, we end up climbing mountains with no preparation at all.  We also end up climbing many mountains that were never meant to seen, much less climbed. 

Proper instruction and teachings come from the man above.  He can prepare us for any type of obstacle or mountain that we face in life.  And, if we keep our ears and eyes spiritually tuned, we will see he has placed many blessings along our paths of preparation as well as in our climbs. 

Learn from his instructions.  Learn from his teachings.  Learn from his love.  Learn that it is not sacrifice that he desires.  It is mercy.  It is love.

Mr. Green Lifted My Spirit

Mr. Green, a man that I do not know personally, lifted my spirits today.  He took time out of his day to read one of my postings.  He also let me know that I was in his thoughts and prayers.  I think people often take for granted the power of prayer.  Many times in my life, I have also taken for granted the power of prayer. 

Prayer has the ability to change things.  Through prayer, God hears our requests and concerns.  He takes his time to listen to our thoughts.  He does not forsake us.  God enjoys the fact that some of us think so highly of him to bring the details of our life to him.

 I think more highly of God than I do of anything or anyone in this life, but I did not always live my life in such a manner that people would have thought I viewed him so highly.  In fact, at one time, I ignored God.  But, because he loves me, he has chosen to construct my life's journey in a way that I can no longer ignore how mighty he is.  I have been brought to a point in life in which I can clearly see that he holds the world and everything in it together.  I am powerless without him, but through him, I have much power that cannot be explained by words.

There is a certain situation in my life that constantly tries to pull my attention away from God's mighty power in my life.  This situation is in fact the one that involves my legal troubles.  See, for some time now I have been waiting to see if I have to go to prison or not.  I have no idea how this circumstance is going to be resolved.  I may have to go away for weeks, months, years, or possibly, through a miracle given to me by God, maybe not at all. 

This situation constantly brings worry into my life as well as anxious thoughts.  A million times a day, I have pray and redirect my thoughts back towards God and say, "I trust you Jesus."  He parted the Red Sea.  He healed many a sick people.  He arose from the grave.  Trusting in him gives me much comfort that my situation can be resolved in a fair and just manner. 

There are no situations in life that are too hard for him to handle.  No sins that he cannot forgive.  Trusting in him is very liberating, and it is also an act and step of faith that I have to make a million times a day. 

Thank you God for getting me to a point in life in which I see that you are the One in control. 
Thank you Mr. Green for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers.  Thank you for the uplift.

Well, it's Friday

Well, it's Friday.  Time to kick off the work boots (not that I wear any ;) This week has been a pretty good one for me.  I have spent much time working, making money right here from the comfort of my kitchen chair.  My son has behaved pretty well, but of course to me he's always an angel :)  And lastly, the family has gotten along quite well.

Not all my weeks go as well as this one has.  I have to constantly remind myself of the good things in my life, or if I'm not careful, my weeks become consumed with worry, anxiety, and a lot of meaningless thoughts. 

I am so happy to be where I am at today.  Here at home.  I'm not real for sure how long God is going to bless me with being able to stay home, but hopefully it's on a permanent basis.  If not, then I fully trust him that he is preparing me for whatever journey he wants me to travel. 

Anyways, that's enough about my week.  I hope and pray that each of you have had a great week as well.  If not, then always know you can turn your troubles over to someone who is much more capable than yourself at handling them.  He's the man above.  He's the man all around us.  He's God.  He's my best friend.  His name is Jesus.

Sorting Through the Past

For those of you who regularly read my writings, I'm sorry I haven't posted in awhile.  A lot has happened over the past few weeks, including some emotional turn-abouts, but on the other hand, a few positive changes have occurred as well. 

I'm still awaiting to find out if I have to go to prison or not.   I'm praying deeply about this matter, hoping, trusting, and believing that God is working out an outcome that will be to the benefit of my son's best interest.

My family and I are getting along quite well these days.  I have been praying deeply about this matter too.  See, there are six of us living in our home.   Three adults including myself, a teenager, and two kiddos who have just started school.  Sometimes it gets hectic around here, but things are improving.

My son's father was released on parole about two weeks ago.  It has been a joy having him around.  Some people don't think I should spend time with him, but just as everything else, I am leaving the matter in God's hands.  He knows what's best for me.  So far, so good. 

There are some things in my past I find hard to let go of, but I know it's best if I do.  So, as for right now, that's what I'm trying to do.  Sort out my past from my present, so that my future will be as bright as possible. 

I hope anyone who reads this understands that sorting out the past from the present can be somewhat difficult, but it must be done.  It must be done so that a future can be secured.  Also, the only way to secure a positive future is to let God do it for you.  I'm letting him do it for me, and so far, just as He promised, everything is working out.