During my younger years, I was just like many other girls who had been raised in America. I was provided an education from public schools, and I was told "Whitney, you can become whatever you want to be." I believed it. I honestly believed I could go as far in life as I wanted. Not only did I place confidence in this statement because I was being told it by my parents, but my academics reflected the necessary qualifications that becoming whatever I wanted was indeed a great possibility.
I grew up receiving what I consider a 'perfect childhood.' I never heard my parents yell at one another. Money was at times an issue, but not for long. By the time I was seven my father began creating for himself a home-building business in which he used to completely rid my family of any debt they were in. Still to this day, my family has no debt. My father has lived his life sticking to his morals, values, and beliefs, which include never being in debt with anyone.
Also, during my childhood, I was fully supported by my parents in whatever endeavors I wanted to go on. From sports to playing piano to traveling the United States, my parents were always by my side to cheer me on. I was in fact, an Amercian little princess in their eyes.
By the time I was 13, I had decided what I wanted to do in life. I wanted to be an accountant, and my math skills proved to myself and my family that I had what it would take to excel in any type of accounting career that I chose to follow. With time, effort, patience, and guidance from God, I could become whatever I wanted to be. I could become the CEO of a company. I could build my own business from the ground up. I could even be a stay-at-home mother if I chose and work out of a home office. In reality, anything I wanted was attainable.
But, my dreams were crushed. Completely shattered. The little princess who had her eyes focused on the things that mattered in life such as God, family, school, etc., quickly learned at a young age that she suffered from a drug addiction. My ability to maintain focus on God, my family, and other important things deteriorated. For 13 years, my attention span became no larger than being able to think about how I was going to get my next high, and this didn't require much thought, as I always found it simple to manipulate people into supplying me with the drugs I thought I needed.
Now, as a woman who has reached 26 years of age, I sit here bewildered. I find it so hard to believe that I used to live my life the way I did. I also find it so overwhelming that God loves me so much that he chose to keep me safe all those years. Not only me, but also my four year old son, as well as his father who also suffered from a drug addiction.
Who am I that God has chosen to take such a broken life, full of shame, guilt, and shattered dreams, and rebuild it into something that is of worth value to him? It's most definitely not because of something I have done. It's simply because he loves me.
For the rest of my life, I will be recovering from my past. I will be recovering from a drug addiction that took me down some of the darkest roads imaginable. It is a slow process, but one definitely worth the end result, which is heaven.
No matter what we do in life, no matter how shattered our dreams may become, we still have God. He is always patiently waiting for us to turn back to him. He is ready to help us. Just take me for example; he took an 'American princess turned junkie' and transformed me into his little princess. A godly princess.
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